The nursery rhymes we teach our children are so archaic as to appear to be nonsense. The references to animals like sheep and pigs and the obsolete professions like pipers and kings fail to inform modern muchers and muchettes about the one thing they need in order to live full productive lives: technology.
Jack be nimble Jack be quick Jack jump over The cable decoder
Peter Peter pumpkin eater Had a wife and couldn't keep her He put her in a pumpkin shell And then he watched some television
Murray had a big TV With colors bright as life And every time he turned it on He forgot about his wife.
Are you beeping? Are you beeping? Brother Jack? Brother Jack? Get your pocket pager. Get your pocket pager. Call them back. Call them back.
Peas porridge hot Peas porridge cold Peas porridge from the microwave oven
Mary had a cool boombox The loudest in the town And everywhere that Mary went They said to turn it down
Mister Cole has remote control And remote control has he He gets CNN He gets HBO And he gets his MTV
Skipping through the dial All night from dusk to dawn Grazing four and eighty channels And still there's nothing on
Hackery dackery duck The stupid mouse is stuck It can't pick And it can't click Hackery dackery duck
It's time again to upgrade, upgrade, upgrade It's time again to upgrade, here comes the new OS It's time again to upgrade, upgrade, upgrade It's time again to upgrade, it always is a mess
Stevie, turn the TV on And Zute will make it mute Fran'll change the channel Adolph will turn it off.
Janey, Janey, quite complainy How does your website grow? With whistles, bells, and URLs And little GIFs all in a row.